Forgave her abusers

The bitterness in Brooke's soul has been removed

Brooke Smith
Brooke Smith

When Brooke Smith was just eight years old, her innocence was ripped away by several boys from her neighbourhood.

Brooke endured four years of their abuse and bullying, their murderous threats preventing her from speaking out. Brooke’s inward anger led her to become two-faced.

“I would go to church …and I would put on my face. Then I would go to school and do drugs,” Brooke recalls.

Moving away from home, she became friends with her neighbour who introduced her to the underground punk rock scene.

“She was a bouncer in a punk club. But I think what drew me into that club was the hardness of music and the fact that I could express the anger that was inside of me. That’s where I got harder and meaner.”

Brooke’s neighbour had a magnetism that drew crowds of people around her. Brooke was entranced, and the two became lovers and moved from Michigan to Hollywood in 1994, where they hoped to become stars.

“I had a ring in my nose… some tattoos… shaved my head,” Brooke recalls. “I looked like a crazy nut. When I would look in the mirror sometimes at myself, I would actually get scared as I looked into my own eyes.”

Brooke and her girlfriend were partly successful in Hollywood, becoming extras on TV shows such as ER and 90210, and in four movies. But they found real celebrity on the nightclub circuit where they gained a cult following.

“We’d go to the nightclubs every single night. That to me became like a job. I didn’t like it. So I’d have to drink a lot to actually function in the clubs.”

During one outing to West Hollywood, two men who were looking for a fight began following Brooke and her girlfriend, presuming they were men dressed in biker leathers. Just before they struck, Brooke cried out in her heart “Lord, please help!” Both girls felt a blast of heat come between them and the two men instantly turned away.

On another occasion a man threatened to kill Brooke and her girlfriend, and again Brooke asked God to help and the man instantly apologised for the punch-up.

After these occasions, Brooke believed she was on good terms with God, so she found it offensive that her sister Rachel, who was attending a Bible college, had written in a letter that “growing up in a Christian home does not mean you are a Christian.” However, she could not hide the fact that she hated Rachel’s songs about Jesus.

A year later, Brooke remembers that she felt uncomfortable about going out to a particular nightclub with her girlfriend.

“She said, ‘Well, let’s just sit on the fence about it.’ The only time I’d ever heard ‘sit on the fence’ was in church. You don’t sit on the fence. You’re either hot or you’re cold… you’re not lukewarm.”

In that moment Brooke felt a cold evil presence enter the room, but her girlfriend said she felt nothing, and added, “You don’t actually think there’s such a thing as a devil, do you?”

When she jokingly said it felt warm, Brooke knew she could not trust her anymore. After Brooke called out to Jesus, her girlfriend jumped up and left.

That night, Brooke recalls that God said to her heart, “Brooke, fear not, for I am the Lord your God”, and gave her a choice: “It’s either Me or her. Who’s it going to be?”

“When I chose with all of my heart to follow Jesus, God changed my heart,” Brooke says. “I had nothing to show for 26 years of my life except a broken heart.”

Brooke says it was through years of reading and trusting the Word of God that He has healed her of her pain.

“The thirst that was in my soul (that I was trying to quench with a woman) has been quenched with Jesus.

“From the Bible, I understood that Jesus became my sin! That He exchanged His Life for mine.

“So when He died, the old Brooke died. When He rose from the dead, the new Brooke came alive too.

“Now that I am forgiven, Jesus has shown me how to give forgiveness to all who have hurt me. I feel incredible freedom now from releasing those who have hurt me.”

God also answered her anger against Him. “I realised that if He loved me so much to be willing to go to the cross for me, why would it be His will that I was sexually abused?”

Wanting to share this good news, Brooke volunteered as a chaplain in a women’s prison.

Brooke at gay pride parade
Brooke (holding bag) at a gay rights parade

“When I was living for myself, I thought that being rich and famous would fulfil my dreams, but now God has given me my heart’s desire. I love helping women see Jesus, and I didn’t know that this was my real heart’s dream.”

In 2011 Brooke married Andy Smith and they now live in Ohio. “I can’t even tell you how happily married I am,” she shares.

Since 1987, Andy had been reaching out to the gay community with the good news of Jesus Christ.

Together Andy and Brooke strive to never personally judge those in the gay community, but, as Brooke says, share with them “the message that God loves them and can help them right where they are.”

More about Brooke at her website www.myjesusmylord.com

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