My desire to be wanted is finally fulfilled, says Bridget
As a sexually liberated atheist Bridget Brenton thought she ought to feel free, but the advice she was following seemed inconsistent with her life experiences.
She took on the messages of the Queer as Folk TV show and Cosmo magazine and believed that sexual experimentation ought to deliver happiness.
"I jumped from person to person, not knowing what I was looking for," Bridget acknowledges.
"I ended up cheating on my boyfriend, hooking up with girls and boys, clubbing and partying, because I believed that is what people fresh out of high school did.
"Growing up I was tomboyish, which led to my sexual confusion, but I was mostly with guys as they fulfilled my addiction to the thrill of being wanted."
On a Toronto working holiday Bridget met 'Mr. Right'. She soon met his family, became engaged and he moved back to Australia to be with her.
Just as she started to have cold feet he gave her the shock of her life.
"He told me he believed in God! I told him that I felt cheated and that only idiots believed in a deity," she explains.
Bridget had always regarded religion as irrational because her nominally religious school taught that science has solved everything about our origins.
"I took it for granted that all educated people knew that God didn't exist," Bridget says.
The couple began researching their respective viewpoints and assumptions, at which point Bridget realised, "At school we never heard about difficulties or alternative views about the theory of evolution, and I never thought to question it."
As she freely explored all sides Bridget discovered that science is based on the philosophical principle of induction, the assumption that tomorrow will be the same as today.
This belief in an ordered, non-chaotic and non-deceiving universe (including the reliability of our brains) is the foundation of scientific experimentation.
The only logically valid justification for order in the universe, says Bridget, is that it was created by an unchanging and trustworthy God who upholds the natural laws of the universe.
The Bible affirms science's assumptions and our experience of life, Bridget adds, as death, suffering and disease, the unwinding of the original perfect order, are a consequence of mankind's wrongdoing against God.
After months of research, Bridget recalls, "I could not escape the conclusion that God could very well exist. I humbly realised that I did not know everything and had ignored the existence of an absolute standard of morality."
During a bus ride Bridget noticed a little white church like one she wanted to be married in, so she told her surprised fiancé that they should visit it.
"Early on in the Sunday sermon, I just started crying and I couldn't stop," Bridget remembers.
"I understood that I was a sinner (that I had broken God's universal Ten Commandments), which was strange because this concept of sin was so foreign beforehand."
On that day she asked Jesus to forgive her and gave Him control of her life, Bridget says she was "instantly changed."
"God gave me this incredible peace and a hunger for His Word. I began reading the Bible constantly. I previously swore constantly but it just stopped – I did not want to insult my Lord or the people around me.
"I dressed more modestly and I started talking about Christianity often, because Jesus became 'my everything'. I realised that my fiancé and I were living in sin, so despite my previous cold feet we registered straight away and were married a month later."
“I jumped from person to person, not knowing what I was looking for”The biggest transformation, according to Bridget, was the meaning of life.
"I hadn't realised how meaningless life was as an atheist. It's not something you can appreciate until you have some transcendent meaning that matters.
"I don't fear death, even though I think about mortality often, but it is a happy thought of being one with God forever. I trust my Saviour and have nothing to fear."
As she left behind a bisexual lifestyle Bridget honestly shares that she has battled against selfish lust and pornography.
"I do experience many sexual temptations, but God helps me through them. The Bible says, 'If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.'"
Bridget shares that her heart became hard against God five years ago, which lead to adultery.
"I thought I was doomed after falling into that trap and was unsure if God could renew my heart again. But God has shown me that He is faithful to forgive and my husband graciously forgave me. As the Bible says, 'I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?'"
Now 11 years after she gave Jesus control of her life, Bridget shares, "The daily process of handing my faults over to Jesus is never-ending, because there is always something that needs to be completely surrendered. Thankfully God never fails us."•