Love is the answer

Acceptance of abuse is not normal, says former escort

Sarah
Now in training as a counsellor, Sarah is remarkably transformed

After refusing to endure abuse after her parent's divorce, Sarah ended up in a vicious cycle of prostitution and drug addiction until a new understanding of love enabled her to escape.

Unable to overcome the effects of abuse by a trusted family member, Sarah began drinking heavily at age 15, had a child when she was still a teenager, and ended up with a man who appeared exciting until he became increasingly abusive and threatened to take away her two children if she tried to leave.

Desperate and out of options, she funded her family's escape by working for an escort agency, visiting clients' premises while her partner and kids were not home.

Recalling her first experiences in 2003, Sarah says, "It was horrible at the start. You feel dirty; that there's something sordid about it. But I quickly toughened up."

She raised enough money to send her children interstate so she could leave her partner, but she was unable to leave in time.

"The guy I was with beat me severely and tried to kill me. I got away with blood everywhere. People who saw me running were too scared to help me."

Back in a new place with her children, Sarah continued working as an escort because she says she felt it gave her power.

"When I began questioning what was going on in me, I realized it wasn't about the money. When asked, so many girls agreed with me that there's some sort of power gained out of this."

At first, she did not understand why they all felt that way. But when she dug deeper she discovered nearly every girl had been abused, most of them sexually.

She realized this was not a choice women were making from a healthy place within themselves.

"No woman really wants to sell her body," Sarah explains.

After refusing to endure abuse after her parent's divorce, Sarah ended up in a vicious cycle of prostitution and drug addiction until a new understanding of love enabled her to escape.

Unable to overcome the effects of abuse by a trusted family member, Sarah began drinking heavily at age 15, had a child when she was still a teenager, and ended up with a man who appeared exciting until he became increasingly abusive and threatened to take away her two children if she tried to leave.

Desperate and out of options, she funded her family's escape by working for an escort agency, visiting clients' premises while her partner and kids were not home.

Recalling her first experiences in 2003, Sarah says, "It was horrible at the start. You feel dirty; that there's something sordid about it. But I quickly toughened up."

She raised enough money to send her children interstate so she could leave her partner, but she was unable to leave in time.

"The guy I was with beat me severely and tried to kill me. I got away with blood everywhere. People who saw me running were too scared to help me."

Back in a new place with her children, Sarah continued working as an escort because she says she felt it gave her power.

"When I began questioning what was going on in me, I realized it wasn't about the money. When asked, so many girls agreed with me that there's some sort of power gained out of this."

At first, she did not understand why they all felt that way. But when she dug deeper she discovered nearly every girl had been abused, most of them sexually.

She realized this was not a choice women were making from a healthy place within themselves.

"No woman really wants to sell her body," Sarah explains.

"These women are actually telling men, 'Yes, abuse me', not 'yes, this is a good decision for me.'"

She also found nearly every girl had had their children taken by welfare.

"Most of them come in on drugs, between ages 18 to 25, and need the job to support their drug habit. I was known as the only escort who wasn't on drugs when I started, until I found out drugs made the job easier.

"The job funds the drug abuse, and the drug abuse supports the job. Drugs enable you to be 'the life of the party'. It's a vicious cycle.

"Drugs were also an escape from facing the separation of my parents, the abuse – just to keep myself numbed, to not have to face the pain I was carrying.

"Then, one day I had a vision of myself as a healthy whole human being. I believe it was a vision from God. Until then, I had actually wanted to be messed up. The way I came across to others was, 'I'm a mess, deal with it.'"

Sarah reasoned she had nowhere to turn but to God and the Bible she had read as a child.

"I bawled my eyes out as I read in the book of Revelation: 'This is the problem I [Jesus] have with you, you have forgotten your first love' (chapter 2, verse 4). After my parents' separation and the abuse, I had turned my back on Him."

After being an escort for over two years, during which time she had a third child, Sarah asked God to take control of her life.

She remembers praying, "Ok, God, I've made such a mess of life. I don't understand Your ways, but I give up, I'm willing to surrender anyhow."

She left escort work, gave up drugs, and depended on God to provide food for her family.

Sarah went to a counsellor for help and began attending the Christian church he led, and through this church she learned about Jesus' love and forgiveness. She was shocked when the church helped pay some of her bills.

With this new knowledge of God's unconditional love, Sarah surrendered her life to the Lord Jesus Christ and trusted in God's unbreakable promises.

"I know I am going to be with God forever because I believe what He said, 'Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved' (Romans 10:9). Even though I don't deserve it, the sinless Jesus came and died on the cross in place of me because He loves me."

Sarah says she is now a completely different person, despite the sad memories she still has.

"God has shown me that I'm worth something and He is overpowering those pangs of fear I have that I'm not worthy of His love. The need I had to be with some guy has been filled by God."

Sarah is now in training to be a qualified counsellor.

"God has changed me through His power. It's not me; it's Him working in me that He will use to help others," she concludes.

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