Jim Elliff

Can this marriage be saved?


John had been abused by a childminder as a child.

The first years of marriage were difficult ones. Things were just not working out. John and Mary separated for nine months while they considered divorce. But somehow they managed to reconcile.

On the surface, the marriage looked better after this. They got their first "good" jobs, making "good" pay. By purchasing a new home, new cars, eating out in fine restaurants and taking nice vacations, they kept things going for a while as they tried to climb the ladder materially. However, things were not what they seemed.

"Each worldly accomplishment seemed more anti-climactic than the one before," lamented John. A lifetime of attempting to sooth his hurting soul only left him a practical "idolater with deeply ingrained sinful habits."

Though John and Mary tried church life for awhile in their journey, it did not satisfy. John was struggling with deep sexual sins. His thought life and addiction to pornography led him into several episodes of adultery. His marriage was imploding.

When John finally confessed all of this to Mary, she tried to forgive. But as the weeks went on "her hurt turned to anger and bitterness and forgiveness seemed to be an impossibility." Their second separation began.

Just at this point, when things seemed the worst, something happened that altered everything.

In his loneliness and despair, John now sought a relationship with Christ in earnest. He went to the Bible to find answers for his dilemma. He built Christian relationships and listened to leaders who could help him understand life and how to know Christ. He talked things out with those who knew what being a Christian was about.

Everything changed. He found a true relationship with Christ during his darkest hours. Through Christian teachers who loved him, John even got the help he needed to deal with his addiction to pornography and the life of lust he had known. "Even as I write this," he once wrote, "I can feel fresh waves of horror wash over me as I recollect the wicked creature that I had become." But God changed him through Christ and the care of the real Christians he had met. They accepted him and helped him.

Mary, though not a believer in Christ herself, saw the difference in John. He moved back in once again. Together they attended a church. Though she had attempted to relate to Christ as a child, an experience that soon faded away, she soon came into that vital union with Christ that would transformed both her life and her family.

"I truly believe that I have been converted. Although I am an infant in Christ," she now confesses, "I have a true passion for Him. I am so grateful to God that this change has occurred now, while my children are still young. I could have missed teaching them about a real God while they were in their formative years. I'm so grateful that God has surrounded us by so many biblically sound Christians who can help us and our children grow. I am also thankful and amazed at the difference this has made in my relationship with my husband."

You can see the difference in their love for each other and their completely new direction in life. They have a fresh start with assurance of a good ending.

Could this same thing happen to you?

[Jim Elliff is an author of several books. He travels extensively around the globe explaining the significance of a relationship with Christ. You may read more of Jim's writing about this subject at www.WayToGod.org]

Article copied, with permission, from the 4you.ie web site.

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